I saw that quote on Twitter last night, and I don’t mind admitting that I was quite incensed by it. Who are you to tell me that I cannot truly love my wife? How dare you!
Upon asking this person to validate their statement , I was told that “The Bibbie (sic) says it very well about man and woman.” Sigh. Of course it does. Anyway, I was eventually given a link to an article that presumably was supposed to explain it all for me. It was late, the article was long, but I promised this person I would read it and get back to them. So here it is…
I’m not entirely sure how to go about replying to this. There are so many approaches I could take. I could dismantle the article paragraph by paragraph, but I feel that would take more of my time than it’s worth. I toyed with the idea of creating a parody, based on Star Wars that showed how incest is ok, because Luke kissed his own sister. (I’m sure there’s something worse in the Bible, so it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to substitute one fantastic story for another).
To be fair, the article is very detailed and makes a good argument of pointing out the various laws and so forth, based on choice quotes from the Bible. The unfortunate thing is of course, that the Bible is nothing more than a collection of stories written 2,000 years ago by primitive men with an extremely limited world view. But, as promised, I read the entire thing. Now let’s see if @TonySenatore will return the courtesy…
Much of the article talks about the Seventh Commandment, “Thou shalt not commit adultery”, and I actually happen to agree with this. It’s not an outrageous proposition, and I do think it makes a lot of sense. If two people are going to commit themselves to each other, then they should at least take the matter seriously. What I do not agree with, is the scope of the so-called “adultery” that the article believes is sinful.
My wife and I both had previous sexual partners before we even knew each other existed. And this, if I understand correctly, is tantamount to adultery in the eyes of the Lord. I suppose we could have remained virgins until we met, but since one of us was divorced with two children, that would have been somewhat difficult (miraculous virgin births notwithstanding). But hey, according to Bob Deffinbaugh, the articles author, it is perfectly fine to get divorced if your partner is adulterous. So that’s good, at least one of us managed to dodge a sin there.
But let’s assume that we both sinned before we ever met, and move on to the next argument, from Genesis 39:7-10:
“And it came to pass after these things that his master’s wife cast longing eyes on Joseph, and she said, “Lie with me.”
8 But he refused and said to his master’s wife, “Look, my master does not know what is with me in the house, and he has committed all that he has to my hand. 9 There is no one greater in this house than I, nor has he kept back anything from me but you, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?”
According to the logic in the article, Jospeh is a hero because he did not sleep with his masters wife. But so what? We do not need to invoke ancient rules, outlandish deities and other nonsense to see this! Joseph is a decent, honest man – that much is clear. But by the same token, so is any man (or woman) who takes their commitments seriously. We don’t need to invoke God in order to realize that adultery will generally end up hurting someone. It is a logical progression towards the Golden Rule, that can be arrived at independently from religion. (In the immortal words of Bill and Ted, “Be excellent to each other”). In fact, if we do invoke God, we end up instead with a great deal of conflicting advice.
I could go on and on and dissect and dismiss the entire article, but I really have better things to do with my time. Suffice it to say, that my wife and I are perfecly happy in our marriage. We do not need or want a creepy ménage à trois with Jesus watching in the corner, nodding His approval whenever we make love with the lights off. Our marriage is ours. We made a commitment to each other and we take that commitment seriously.
In fact, I put it to you that you cannot know “true love” if your mind is filled with notions of a spiritual third party watching over you all the time. How can you give one hundred percent of yourself to your partner if you are also in love with your imaginary friend? How does it feel to know you are less important to your spouse than a man who died 2,000 years ago?
My wife is the most important person in the world to me – she does not play second fiddle to anyone, real or imaginary.